When the chickens come home to roost
On making something that makes even me uncomfortable
I started a new painting on Friday, spurred on my a series of bizarre dreams I've had about the Epstein files with no arrests in the US, and when the rape academy thing came to light, I guess I decided to paint it. Here's how it stands right now:
People walking by either get it or, mostly, don't. And I get it. It's not even done and it's a little disturbing. And it also looks really bad right now, because I've only been working on it for a few days and it's HUGE (at least for me).
Here's what it means, if you don't get it. If you feel uncomfortable or offended by looking at this, why? Nobody's privates are showing. Nobody in the picture is engaged in a sexual act. Is it that the naked people look like they might be children? Why does that make a difference? Is it the larger, dressed adult that makes it weird? Why?
I'm leaving them bald to make it unclear if they're male or female. The person in the back will be wearing something that is clearly ceremonial and spiritual- they are an authority figure. The chicken is obvious, but the blue bird will actually turn into a mocking bird. I was going to put a sick/dead man in the back, but it felt like much, so I'm just going to put another child in. I put in candles for the ambiance, and I'm going to do a still life of food and in the foreground to say some other things about the death of an entire culture.
This chaos is often my process when I neeeeeed to paint something. I don't follow the rules. I just keep pushing the paint until it feels right, and then get down to details. And then sometimes the details change. This probably makes these kinds of paintings awful, but then again, they're mostly for me.
Hopefully this explains a few things, if you're walking by and wondering wtf. As someone who has endured sexual abuse and rape as a child, I think this painting. has been in the works for longer than I even know. What if children could just bend over naked and feel safe? What if we didn't have to warn our litte girls about sitting with their legs open? What if we lived in a matriarchy that put the kiddos and their safety first? What if we burned this whole system down?
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